Escape the Ivory Tower

Finding your calling one job at a time

Finding a job is one thing — and an important thing, to be sure. But unless we spend the time and energy to figure out what we really want to be doing, we’re going to land right back where we are now: frustrated, restless, lost, and unhappy. This is where we talk about how we can uncover the things we most want to do with our lives. It’s also where I test out tools so you don’t have to. Click here for past posts.

And then there was a bolt out of the blue…

It’s easy to think, when you’re searching for the Right Job, the Right Career, your Inner Calling, that one day, somehow, you’re going to get a bolt out of the blue and you’ll know what it is. And then, knowing fully what it is, you can set about making it happen.

That’s not usually how it works, unfortunately.

Most of the time, we encounter or search out a job or a career that’s simply better than where we are – more in line with who we are and what we need. And so we make the jump. After a period of time, we start noticing all the things about this job or career that don’t quite fit, that rub us the wrong way. It’s tempting, at that point, to think we did it wrong. But we didn’t. What we did was take the Next Right Step – and now there’s another Next Right Step to take.

Calling as incrementalism

If you have an experience that hands you your calling wholesale, then I bow down before you (and not so secretly envy you).

Most of us, however, get to our calling incrementally and experientially by trying things and then noticing what does – and doesn’t – work. Every time we find a new job or a new career, we’re refining the process, taking with us more and more knowledge about what does and doesn’t work for us.

Most people balk at this process

It’s true – figuring out your calling and your career is going to take the rest of your life.

But that’s only a problem if you buy into the notion – built into our very high schools with the notion of guidance and career counselors – that you were supposed to figure it out once and for all and then be happy. (As a teenager!)

In fact, that assumption keeps more people paralyzed than any other I know of – because people assume that if they aren’t happy, it’s because they’ve done something wrong, instead of being part of the natural evolution of a human life and career.

Frankly, I don’t think I trust my 20 year old self to have figured out the rest of my life. She was a sweet kid, sure, but not so much on the life experience. Chances are, your 20-year-old self was the same.

It can be an expansive process

If you think about it as the natural evolution of a life, then it’s not a shameful remediation but an exciting journey. Where will you end up? Who knows? But following the bread crumbs is likely to be an exciting process. You’re learning more about yourself and the world every day – and what else is a life for?

The problem, for most people, is having no idea where to begin that journey – because they’ve never thought about or explored anything else. That goes double in academia, with its highfalutin assumptions about the intellectual wasteland that is the rest of the world. (Supposedly, anyway. In reality, not so much.)

To help the academically inclined figure out where else they might be looking – and where the Next Right Step might be hiding – Jo VanEvery and I have cooked up a free teleclass that will give you a high-level method of figuring out what your options are. To learn more, just click here.

Make a Life List

Make a Life List

Finding a job is one thing — and an important thing, to be sure. But unless we spend the time and energy to figure out what we really want to be doing, we’re going to land right back where we are now: frustrated, restless, lost, and unhappy. This is where we talk about how we can uncover the things we most want to do with our lives. Click here for past posts.

They’re all the rage these days, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t incredibly useful when you’re trying to figure out what you want to do with your life.

Yep, I’m talking about life lists.

What’s a life list?

Simply put, a life list is a, well, list of a bunch of things you want to do before you die. Sometimes called “bucket lists,” these lists contain everything from “taste 50 rums” (one of Karen Walrond’s items) to “visit every country in the world” (one of Chris Gillebeau’s items).

Exactly how to go about it varies depending on who you’re talking to. Some people swear by 100 items, or 77 items, or “as many as you want.” Personally, I like using 100 as a goal, both because it’s a nice round number and because stretching for a longer list than we might initially come up with can help uncover things that really are important to us.

Two, two kinds of useful!

Whenever I read someone’s life list, I immediately learn things about them — what’s important to them, what they value, what they care about. Writing your own list can have the same effect, showing you themes and connections you might not have noticed otherwise.

But life lists are more than intellectual. When you have a life list, it’s a hell of a lot easier to start doing or planning for some of the things you really, passionately want to do in your life. And bringing into your life the things you really want to be doing — no matter the state of your career planning — is going to increase your happiness, unleash your creativity, and give you reasons to go after big dreams.

Are you game?

I’ll be honest — I’ve never sat down to write my own. But I’m pledging, here in public, to do just that, and I’ll post it over at Holy Longing. I’d love to hear what’s on yours!

A few comments about comments

The whole question of being unhappy in academia — no matter what stage you’re in — can feel fraught. If you’d like to comment but are feeling shy about “being out there,” feel free to make up a persona or comment anonymously. You can also email me directly.

First-time commenters are always moderated (because you wouldn’t believe the spam I get), so if your comment doesn’t show up immediately, hang tight! Chances are, I’m not right on my email.

And most of all, let’s all practice compassion for ourselves and others in this difficult time and space.

Finding a job is one thing — and an important thing, to be sure. But unless we spend the time and energy to figure out what we really want to be doing, we’re going to land right back where we are now: frustrated, restless, lost, and unhappy. This is where we talk about how we can uncover the things we most want to do with our lives. Click here for past posts.

They’re all the rage these days, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t incredibly useful when you’re trying to figure out what you want to do with your life.

Yep, I’m talking about life lists.

What’s a life list?

Simply put, a life list is a, well, list of a bunch of things you want to do before you die. Sometimes called “bucket lists,” these lists contain everything from “taste 50 rums” (one of Karen Walrond’s items) to “visit every country in the world” (one of Chris Gillebeau’s items).

Exactly how to go about it varies depending on who you’re talking to. Some people swear by 100 items, or 77 items, or “as many as you want.” Personally, I like using 100 as a goal, both because it’s a nice round number and because stretching for a longer list than we might initially come up with can help uncover things that really are important to us.

Two, two kinds of useful!

Whenever I read someone’s life list, I immediately learn things about them — what’s important to them, what they value, what they care about. Writing your own list can have the same effect, showing you themes and connections you might not have noticed otherwise.

But life lists are more than intellectual. When you have a life list, it’s a hell of a lot easier to start doing or planning for some of the things you really, passionately want to do in your life. And bringing into your life the things you really want to be doing — no matter the state of your career planning — is going to increase your happiness, unleash your creativity, and give you reasons to go after big dreams.

Are you game?

I’ll be honest — I’ve never sat down to write my own. But I’m ple

Finding a job is one thing — and an important thing, to be sure. But unless we spend the time and energy to figure out what we really want to be doing, we’re going to land right back where we are now: frustrated, restless, lost, and unhappy. This is where we talk about how we can uncover the things we most want to do with our lives. Click here for past posts.

They’re all the rage these days, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t incredibly useful when you’re trying to figure out what you want to do with your life.

Yep, I’m talking about life lists.

What’s a life list?

Simply put, a life list is a, well, list of a bunch of things you want to do before you die. Sometimes called “bucket lists,” these lists contain everything from “taste 50 rums” (one of Karen Walrond’s items) to “visit every country in the world” (one of Chris Gillebeau’s items).

Exactly how to go about it varies depending on who you’re talking to. Some people swear by 100 items, or 77 items, or “as many as you want.” Personally, I like using 100 as a goal, both because it’s a nice round number and because stretching for a longer list than we might initially come up with can help uncover things that really are important to us.

Two, two kinds of useful!

Whenever I read someone’s life list, I immediately learn things about them — what’s important to them, what they value, what they care about. Writing your own list can have the same effect, showing you themes and connections you might not have noticed otherwise.

But life lists are more than intellectual. When you have a life list, it’s a hell of a lot easier to start doing or planning for some of the things you really, passionately want to do in your life. And bringing into your life the things you really want to be doing — no matter the state of your career planning — is going to increase your happiness, unleash your creativity, and give you reasons to go after big dreams.

Are you game?

I’ll be honest — I’ve never sat down to write my own. But I’m pledging, here in public, to do just that, and I’ll post it over at Holy Longing. I’d love to hear what’s on yours!

A few comments about comments

The whole question of being unhappy in academia — no matter what stage you’re in — can feel fraught. If you’d like to comment but are feeling shy about “being out there,” feel free to make up a persona or comment anonymously. You can also email me directly.

First-time commenters are always moderated (because you wouldn’t believe the spam I get), so if your comment doesn’t show up immediately, hang tight! Chances are, I’m not right on my email.

And most of all, let’s all practice compassion for ourselves and others in this difficult time and space.

dging, here in public, to do just that, and I’ll post it over at Holy Longing. I’d love to hear what’s on yours!

A few comments about comments

The whole question of being unhappy in academia — no matter what stage you’re in — can feel fraught. If you’d like to comment but are feeling shy about “being out there,” feel free to make up a persona or comment anonymously. You can also email me directly.

First-time commenters are always moderated (because you wouldn’t believe the spam I get), so if your comment doesn’t show up immediately, hang tight! Chances are, I’m not right on my email.

And most of all, let’s all practice compassion for ourselves and others in this difficult time and space.

Putting all the pieces of your calling together

If you’ve been reading along in my explorations of Finding Your Calling, you know that I’m a big proponent of finding clues — all the descriptors of your ideal life, all the qualities of what you want to do in the world, all the lessons you’ve learned from things not working out, how you’d describe your values, what you’re passionate about.

So maybe you’ve got a nice big pile of clues. Now what?

First, collect your clues

Get all of those clues in the same place, a place where you can see all of them at the same time.

Me, I like writing each clue on its own post-it in Sharpie marker and then posting them all on a blank wall, in a big cloud. That way I can see them, but I can also interact with them.

But that’s not the only way. You can write them all in a cloud, you can make slips of paper, you can have lists, you can draw cartoons. However you get them all together is up to you.

Next, play with their relationships

How do all of these clues go together? What do they have in common? Are there themes?

Group the clues together in ways that make sense to you — and see what you learn.

Maybe you discover that, despite the fact that you adore people, many of your clues suggest that your calling involves solitude. Or maybe you discover that your calling must, absolutely, no exceptions, involve people. Lots of people.

The themes you see are going to call out the deeper qualities of your calling.

Finally, we call on Metaphor Mouse!

Metaphor Mouse is a technique Havi Brooks adapted from Suzette Haden Elgin, and it enables us to take all of the themes we’ve found and put them together into a coherent whole — a whole we can then use as a north star to orient the compass of our next steps. (Her version is about reimagining the things we want to do but have resistance to.)

Here’s how it works. List out all of your themes, one after another. List as well as of the clues that seem absolutely, totally, and unmistakably central to your calling.

Then ask, what do all of these themes, qualities, and clues remind you of?

Describe it in as much detail as you can — is all of this like throwing the coolest party in the world for the people you love most? Is it like diving deep into the sea to discover the fish that have no eyes? Is it like building a very precise scale model of the universe?

Once you’ve got a description, ask yourself, Is there a metaphor here?

For Havi, the central metaphor for her business is a pirate ship — which reinvents the standard way one might go about having a business.

Yours might be being the hostess with the mostest, or being an undersea explorer, or being an architect of the stars.

Oh, the places you’ll go!

It’s going to sound counterintuitive, but figuring out the metaphor of your calling is going to get you much farther — and much more likely to actually living into your calling — than being “practical” or “analytical.”

That’s because our callings aren’t head-centered. They’re more about the totality of who we are, our uniqueness. And that uniqueness can be manifested in lots and lots of different ways. The more we can center ourselves in a felt sense of that calling, the more we can imagine manifesting our calling in ways we might not have even thought of before.

And what does that give us? That’s right — options.

I don’t know about you, but I really like options, especially when it comes to things like finding a job or a career or a next step. Options mean that if one path doesn’t work out (and let’s face it — so much isn’t under our control), there are other paths. Options means it’s not this-or-nothing. Not black-or-white. Not if-you-don’t-win-you-are-screwed.

So get creative. Get intuitive. Get playful. Get exploratory. See where your metaphor can take you.

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